My Inquiry on Marriage w/ OneFlesh.tv

From oneflesh.tv, here are David & Tawanda Johnson "Focused"

Great and marvelous day to you all!! Knowing my ever evolving, and ever present (in thought) passion and interest in love and marriage, I had to speak to this wondrous couple. They're one of my favorite couples to follow via social media (@oneflesh.tv via Instagram), and they've done nothing but inspire me, or make me even more anxious for when God presents my wife before me. Heh, as if my head hasn't already been swelling with massive anticipation.

I hope to present love in a way that's realistic & practical through my writing, but I want others to see for themselves, that successful marriages exist!

As the demonic forces seek to separate love from the human heart, I hope that you see love, are inspired by it, and understand that fairy tales can be manifested...if the work ethic is adequately applied. Here is the short interview as follows:

1. me: What moments in your marriage do you absolutely find the need for God, due to recognition of your own character?

Tawanda: "Honestly, I feel like God should be present in every moment within our marriage, but I feel the greatest need for his presence in the choices and decisions we make regarding our children.  Raising little humans is a big deal. I know that I don't have all the answers (not even close), especially as it pertains to raising men. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed at this responsibility even though I have an incredible man walking with me on this journey.  I seek God regularly in this area."

David:

"I feel like I need Him in all areas but especially when it comes to dying to my flesh. My wife is beautiful and I'm extremely attracted to her, if you get what I'm saying.  We have a very healthy sex life but, I'm a man.  Learning to tame those desires requires the grace, love and strength only God can provide."

2. me: Love and friendship; are they 1 in the same, or are they separate in your understanding?

Both: "The Word of God says that a friend loves at all times. So, we believe that love should be the basis or foundation of friendship. So not necessarily 1 in the same but that one requires the other."

3. me: What do you suggest one does, when their anger rises against their partner, and talking doesn't seem to achieve a successful, agreeable solution?

Both: "Seek God’s face, individually. Holy Spirit is straight up. He will never validate your perspective (no matter how right you think you are) but will instead show you where/how you should work on yourself within the situation. God is for the growth of your marriage, not for you winning a disagreement. And ultimately, allow the Word of God to have the final say. Disregard your way or his/her way and do it God’s way."

4. me: How often do you date, or attend events/activities together, which will maintain the spice, and the fun in your marriage? (please be elaborate)

Both: "Once a month at the very least. We own a business together and have two children so life is busy. We learned years ago that prioritizing intimacy (alone time) was extremely important. When the kids go to bed we always make a point to spend time in each others presence. Even if we’re not doing anything special. Lunch dates are also big for us. Even if we end up talking about work. That one-on-one time is extremely valuable. We also try to have an extended or overnight date once a month. Those, are everything!"

5. me: What do you believe is a potent way for a man to battle his lusts, when his mind seems to wander alongside his eyes? (for the husband)

David:

1. "A mind stayed on Christ shall be kept in perfect peace. This requires insane discipline, so while working to get here I suggest focusing on the next one." 2. "Continuously stimulate your mind with thoughts of your significant other.  From her personality, strong, admirable, or Christ like characteristics, to her physical beauty and ability to satisfy you. Simple lust will always lose to the reality of the complete woman you have."

6. me: Do you believe a man can spend too much time with his wife? (whether yes or no, please provide detail...I'm quite curious of this one)

David: "It depends on their relationship. I personally don’t believe I can spend too much time with my wife. But, I think you have to specify what "spending time" actually means. I love being in my wife's presence. But I'm not requiring or requesting anything of her. That's a totally different ball game. Can a man require or request too much from his wife, absolutely."

Tawanda: "This is a tricky one. Time together is obviously extremely critical in a marriage.  With that being said, maintaining individuality is also important for the sake of both spiritual and marital growth. A valuable part of that effort is found in alone time, which I personally classify as time with God. Prioritizing my God time is the most important aspect of my life. It affects everything else including my marriage and how well I perform as a wife and mom. That doesn't really answer the question...lol...but that's my perspective."

7. me: When things become challenging in your marriage (regarding finances, or something else...not how you feel towards one another), what thoughts should people try to avoid speaking on, so that they don't heighten the stress of the issue presented?

Both:

1. "Divorce - It’s common for people to look for a way out rather than a way through." 

2. "Who's at fault - It’s easy to place blame which is completely counter effective. It’s not you vs your spouse, it’s you and your spouse vs the problem."

3. "Who's right.  We can spend so much time trying to win an argument or validate our point that we don't realize that we can win the argument but be losing within your marriage." 

8. me: What do you see missing from today's women, regarding the mindset a woman has before becoming a wife? (for the wife)

Tawanda:

"Many women are longing to become a wife before understanding who they are in Christ, first. You can find a man, get married and have no idea who you are. Your identity isn't found in a man, marriage, or the title of wife, or mom. Your identity is in Christ, Jesus. Prioritizing that truth is so important."

9. me: What do you see missing from today's men, regarding the mindset a man has before becoming a husband? (for...you guessed it, the hubs)

David:

1. "A solid foundation and relationship with God. You can't truly understand how to love a woman if you don't love God."

2. "The simple mindset that when you get married, there is no plan B. If you make divorce an option it will become your easy out when things get hard, and things WILL get hard."

To Conclude: To be able to speak to this beautiful couple, was an absolute honor! I'm thankful for the gems that were bestowed to this inquiry. Marriage is what you make of it, and there are expectations that shouldn't always be leaned upon. God provides the answers we need...if we seek Him. Your partners should be the height of your fascinations & intrigue, and when you combine true intimacy, with a desire to work as a powerful, cohesive unit, your marriage can find beauty, security, and love. You want to keep those butterflies fluttering in your stomach? Do the work....together! I hope that everyone reading who is single, sees this as something to keep in mind. When we are granted our love to whom we'll marry, may we remember what it takes to keep it alive...permanently!